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- A day without sunshine is like, night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I intend to live forever — so far, so good.
- Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
- The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
- To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
- If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands…
- Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don’t
