Phrases to live by

  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • I intend to live forever — so far, so good.
  • Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  • The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
  • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  • He who hesitates is probably right.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
  • To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
  • If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  • How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands…
  • Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
  • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don’t